Were All Equal

For some reason its so easy for us to judge a person, he who does not sin cast the first stone. This was the very words that Jesus said to the people who were judging a prostitute. I too have done a lot of terrible things with my life – but when I am mad I could easily judge a person be it someone that is close to me. When I see them did something with their life I would easily judge them and diminish the fact that they had been good to me as well. Perhaps, I too was hypocrite an old friend a long time ago once told me that, “if you have nothing good to say to a person better kept your silence”. I had been dreading since yesterday what I did when I was too drunk to remember what had happened. This was the first time that I passed out somewhere and don’t remember how I even got there. I went home confused and slept and then realized later when I woke up what had happened. I have come to terms with my drinking problem managed to be sober for two straight months without a single drop of beer. For years, that I had been drinking none of these ever happened to me. Now I had promised myself that I will never again do it. Let alone be bored the whole weekend or any holidays but no beer would ever again be on my system. I guess I missed the old life when I was still enjoying for 11 straight years. I am going to keep my promise this time and will no longer be compromised. I don’t have anyone to tell what happened to me Saturday night and it haunts me like a ghost that every time it crosses my mind I would shake my head, laughed at myself and ask God to forgive me for what I did. Passing out at a strange place is weird. Good thing I was not robbed of my things and no one knew what happened to me. If I was at the wrong place that time I would be probably be dead by now. This is much shameful than the tequila incident I think.

I am trying to recover from what had happened that night. I know I made a mistake and in this sense we are all equal. Everybody commits mistake and were no longer equal on handling this kind of situation. Someday I will have the courage to write here what really happened that night and eventually just laughed about it and hopefully it will not happen again. Life does again starts at 40 be it good or bad.

I felt bad that I had to feel this way again. Its so lonely in here. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. I have not really recovered from whatever happened to me for a couple of months now. Though I was excited of having the place of my own. I have decided that I might not go with it anymore. My family needs me now when they needed me years ago. They had been asking for financial help twice a month. If I would have mortgage to handle then I would be in the brink of loosing my mind and how I would decide when it comes to money matters. I guess I was destined to be single so that I can help mom and dad back home. I am not blaming them for these but I knew that somehow I am obliged to be a good son and help them whole heartedly. I can not stand the fact that they are agonizing when I have to spare.

Money is just money, a house is just a house what matters in the end is everyone is happy. I apologize for what I have written about HYPOCRISY when in fact many of us is guilty with this.

I WOULD NEVER AGAIN BE COMPROMISED ON A SHAMEFUL SITUATION BECAUSE I WAS TO DRUNK TO RECOGNIZE WHAT WAS HAPPENING. I WANT THE HAPPINESS I MANAGED TO GAIN MONTHS AGO BACK.